One Month Down, Five to Go

Tonight and tomorrow
forever again,
I hold you close
with paper and pen.
Though now apart
together we stay
and through your letters
together we lay.
Faded and yellow
torn and weak
close to me
I'll always keep.
Through miles and years
pain and tears
night and day
and joy I pray
I'll always be close to you.

No one goes no where
to do no thing
with no one else
while no body loves
the no one in the corner
and no thing stops
no body from jumping off a bridge.

Sweet Torture 2

Scream
Cry
Beg
Plead 'til your throat is hoarse
You will not die
Not yet
Bribe
Cajol
Threaten revenge
I'll spit in your eye
as I skin you alive.
Look- there goes a finger!
and another
Let's switch to toes
for variety.
Now, what's next?
How about your tongue?
It annoys me
No, let's go a little lower
Tell me what you feel
Tell me
Yes
That's it
More
Good
Now,
tell me you love me.

Me

By a brook
there was a tree
and by the tree
there was me.

I have flowed
like the brook
I have stood
like the tree.

Now I am
I will be
I will stay
just me.

Chandler

I'm so doing things you do
I'm so saying things you say
I'm so in the motions and the mood
we're not there
you're here
I'm there
we're so not there
we're distant
you get it?
two levels
separate
not the same
not the same
NOT THE SAME
(if we were you'd be in here with me staring at this page, not out there-very out there)

Sweet Torture

Flinging arrows through his heart
they ripped his flailing limbs,
and while he lay there helplessly
they fed their foulest whims

Not a sound could he utter
not a move could he make
gagged with golden liquids,
tied to silver stakes

The ropes cut his extremities
eyes unblinking in the sun
blood dripped, body baked
he watched them have their fun.

Nihilism

Pills and booze
I scan the room
walls ooze, full of doom
what a life this is
waiting for the tomb

Boot camp

Glove fingers point accusingly
at the guilty from their
watchcap cocoon as
seabag tongues lap over the sides
of the lockers, undone
shower shoes are ready to march
but crumpled dungaree stacks
tell the story of an unsat recruit

untitled

A good thing
doesn't come lightly
(though it may come easy).
May kill you with the struggle
feels better when it's won.
Appreciate the good things
though few and far between.
Life is never easy
the breaks are never clean.

Falling

Down to the depths
up to the heavens
with never a stop in between
mostly on top
with sudden drops
falling off cliffs in my dreams

Ode to an Emerging Woman

I'm not myself
without a man
to lend to me
a helping hand.

"Make me who
you want to see,
without you
I am not me."

Let me lose
myself in him.
Let my own light
become dim.

I see my cracks
and fatal flaws
the crevice in
my self-built walls.

Falling down
into depression
over lacks in
my perfection.

Trapped inside
this self-made hell.
Why am I
not doing well?

Can't be dumb
for I am brainy
can't be fit
for I am lazy.

Can't be what
they want to see
can't be myself
there is no me.

Shaped and molded
by the men
that make me over
and leave again.

To be myself
without a man
is almost more
than I can stand.

To be both man
and woman too
to be made whole
like life brand-new.

In striving for
androgeny
a lonely hell
stares back at me.

Still I pray you
make me whole
in body, spirit,
mind and soul.

To see in men
a complement
and not a cure
for heart's lament!

Until that time
I'll try and try
I'll stumble and fall
but I'll get by.

For those who look
but don't look deep
it's for lack in myself
not a man that I weep.